The Impossible Balancing Act

Being a new mom feels like being frozen in time. Even though I know I'm not - my baby is growing every day -sometimes, between diaper changes, bottle feeds, and the monotonous daily routine, I feel stuck. Yes, I am full of love and gratitude. But then sometimes I look around and see others moving forward: advancing in their careers, traveling, graduating, and here I am, at home. It makes me feel like I've failed at being a "modern woman." What does that mean anyway? I guess I don’t really know.

Then comes the guilt. I feel like I'm failing my incredible daughter for feeling stuck at home instead of "cherishing every moment." Why do I feel like I have to choose between my personal growth and being a good mother? Why does postpartum life seem to be either severe depression or blissful new motherhood? Why does it feel like a balance I can't quite navigate?

My body feels stuck in recovery as well. The physical toll of pregnancy and childbirth is a slow healing process, and I am impatient. I see others bouncing back, getting fit, and looking like they've never had a baby, and it makes me feel even more out of sync. My body is still adjusting, still healing, and I sometimes struggle to recognize it as my own. It's as if I'm caught in a limbo, waiting for my body to catch up with the new life I'm living.

I suppose new motherhood is a complex journey, filled with both joy and challenges. It’s hard to be patient and gentle with yourself, but I’m going to try my best. And maybe, just maybe, balance will be restored.