Vacation? You thought!

It’s been five months since I gave birth, and while I’m starting to feel much better physically, mentally, I’m finding myself in a less familiar place. The initial blur of sleepless nights and diaper changes is slowly giving way to some semblance of routine. In some ways, this is good. However, the exhaustion has settled in a new way – one that isn’t just physical but emotional and mental as well. And maybe, just maybe, the endless routine is starting to wear me down. Could it be burnout? If it is, oof. I’m in trouble.

With all this in mind, we decided to take a vacation, hoping for some relaxation and a break from the daily monotony. But what we quickly learned is that vacations with a baby are a different kind of adventure. The change of scenery was nice I suppose, but it wasn’t the restful escape we had envisioned. In fact, the beach felt like a hot hell-scape full of my own anxiety about the baby overheating and eating sand, the dinners out were less about enjoying a fine dining experience and more about finding ways to entertain the baby, and the final car ride home led to a poetic culmination of projectile vomit and a frantic call to the pediatrician.

This journey of parenthood is a complex one. It’s filled with highs and lows, moments of pure joy, and moments of doubt. As I navigate this new chapter, I’m slowly starting to find pieces of myself again. They might not fit together in the same way they used to, but I’m beginning to see the shape of a new identity – one that’s built on love, resilience, and a whole lot of humble learning. But my gosh, I understand why new parents always seem so tired.

To all the new parents out there feeling the weight of exhaustion and the struggle to find yourself, know that you’re not alone. Sometimes, we’re just going to find ourselves covered in an absurd amount of baby vomit. We’re in this together, and in time, we’ll find our way.