The days are long.
Becoming a stay-at-home parent is a choice or circumstance that many face, often with little preparation for the reality of what it entails. In my experience, at a certain point during the day, time starts to feel fuzzy, and the hours tick by slowly, slowly, slowlyyyyyy. You find yourself trapped in an endless cycle of feeding, changing, soothing, and trying to entertain a tiny and temperamental human being. Sometimes you sit there, staring at your baby, wondering “What am I supposed to do with you all day? How am I going to make it to bedtime?” It’s no wonder people get burnt out.
Keeping a baby entertained is a task that requires creativity, patience, and stamina. Babies, especially in their first year, have short attention spans and limited ways to communicate their needs and preferences. This can make it difficult to find activities that engage them for more than a few minutes at a time. You might find yourself rotating through toys, songs, and playtime activities, and then looking at the clock and realizing that somehow only five minutes has passed.
The monotony and isolation of being a stay-at-home parent can take a toll on your mental health. I know it has certainly taken a toll on mine. Without regular adult interaction (I joke that my “adult companion” during the day is my dog) or a change of scenery, it's easy to feel disconnected and isolated. The lack of structure can also lead to a sense of aimlessness. Some days, it feels like you're barely holding on, especially if your baby skips a nap or has a particularly challenging day. By the end of the day, you're a frazzled mess, still in pajamas, dazed and confused, wondering how in the world you made it through.
Adding to the challenge is the pressure to be the "perfect" parent. Social media often presents an idealized version of parenting, where everyone else seems to have clean houses, adorably dressed children, and endless patience. Moms are dressed up for the day, with perfectly blown out hair, a fresh no-makeup makeup look, and a beautiful white smile as they stare adoringly at their baby. Meanwhile, I’m over here feeling lucky that I remembered to wash my hair yesterday. This unrealistic presentation can (and does!) exacerbate feelings of inadequacy or guilt, especially on those days when you're just trying to survive.
But hey! More often than not, we can remind ourselves that social media is not the whole picture. It’s crucial to recognize that your overwhelm is normal and that being a stay-at-home parent is incredibly challenging work. Seeking support from friends, family, or online communities can make a significant difference. Whether it's sharing tips for keeping babies entertained or just venting about the rough days, connecting with others who understand your experience is invaluable. I know it’s helped me feel less alone.
Being a stay-at-home parent is a journey filled with highs and lows. It's okay to acknowledge the very real difficulties and to seek help when needed. Remember, you're doing the best you can, and that is more than enough.
